Hitchhikers Guide to the Elemental nation
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Avatar AU! WWI parody style! plus some twists and spices of my own! Inspired by Deus Swiftblade! Formerly titled "World War A"
1. Chapter 1

WORLD WAR A

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

**Elemental nation TIMELINE part 1**

B.W.: before war. A.W.: after war.

9,830 (B.W.): Wan and Raava seal Vaatu into the tree of time and close the portals...

9,800 (B.W.): Wan dies trying to stabilize the new world and the avatar cycle begins...

9,000(B.W.): the first evil avatar Hundun A.K.A. "The chaotic one" sacrifices

one hundred earth benders to turn his twin brother into the ultimate earth-

bender. And then sacrifices him to gain that power. With this power he

attempts to fuse himself with the earth itself and become a living breathing

planet! This backfires horribly as even with his immense power he can't

control a whole planet! However his attempts to do so regardless causes 100

years of non-stop earthquakes that shatter the super-continent of Pangaea

8,900(B.W.): The spirit of Hundun is finally banished to the spirit world.

Fearing the world made take their vengeance on the next avatar thus ruining

the balance of the world. The current world leaders covered up the fact that

Hundun was the avatar...and gradually Hundun was erased from history

8,100(B.W.): the second evil avatar(although it is still debated whether he was

truly evil or just a well intentioned idiot that dabbled in forces far beyond his

control) Lazarus A.K.A. "The stupid one" fought the grim reaper to bring his

wife back to life...naturally his attempts not only failed but his battles and

schemes to trick the reaper caused cataclysmic events across the planet. That

divided the world into the four sections we know today:

**The inner continents**: the elemental nations we know today

**The outer continents**: A.K.A "the shifting continents", these continents are

constantly in motion, crashing into each other, diving under water and

popping up elsewhere, some fly through the sky!

**The Wild continents:** not much is known about these but they are filled

with never-ending inhospitable landscapes, mutant savages, vicious monsters,

and the very elements themselves seem to be against a person!

**The Unknown continents: **These places are more theoretical than fact...in

fact it's only been in recent centuries that they've been proven to exist! Aside

from the fact they exist...nothing else is known about them...

…...

Lazarus like Hundun was erased from history...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't. **

**But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

**also, could someone contact the deviant artist Markmak or show me how to contact him? I'd like to talk to him, but the computer won't let me comment on my deviantart account.**

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

Hitchhikers Guide to the Elemental Nation

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

**Elemental nation TIMELINE part 2**

8,095(B.W.): After a ticked off Grim reaper had finally finished off Lazarus. The leaders of the world secretly created The "White Lotus Society." They were charged with the responsibility of finding, protecting, and "properly" raising the avatar.(and if necessary cover up his "indiscretions")

7,500(B.W.): The new avatar (A girl named Arcturus; and soon to be known as the 3rd evil avatar. A.K.A. "The Corrupted One") is born into the snake-worshiping cult of "The Great Devourer".

7,495-7,475(B.W.): Arcterus is hidden from the white lotus and secretly trained and molded by charismatic(and kinda creepy) cult-leader Lord Chen.

7,474(B.W.): combining the avatar spirit with Chen's black magic transforms the entire cult into the soon to be dreaded "Serpintines"

**SERPINTINE TYPES:**

**Hypnobrai: **Originally the water nation members of the cult. These cobra-like Serpintines specialize in mind-control.

**Fangpyre: **Originally the Fire nation members of the cult. These Pit Viper-like Serpintines have the power to turn people into mindless slaves with their bite.

**Constrictai: **Originally the Earth nation Members of the cult. These Boa Constrictor-like Serpintines are strong enough to crush diamonds to dust.

**Venomari: **Originally the Air nation members of the cult. These spitting cobra-like Serpintine have the power to produce dozens of hallucinogenic poisons.

**Anacondrai: **Originally Chen's elite guard. These Anaconda-like serpintine have the power to become invisible. And although they are the only serpintine tribe to have no bending; they make up for it by being immune to all bending damage(unless caused by the avatar)

7,470(B.W.): The Serpintine war begins.

7,460(B.W.): After 10 long years of non-stop losses. Humanity finally gained a break, at the battle of Big LittleHorn. Seeing that defeat was inevitable Cournel Custard sacrificed the last of his men to secure a Pyrrhic victory in the form of beheading General Arcterus(he was quickly ripped to pieces afterward).

7,459(B.W.): The new Avatar: Patrick O'reiley was born.

7,458-7,440(B.W.): After the death of Arcterus, the war fell into a stalemate. The Serpintines had Quality. But humanity had Quantity. Meanwhile, Patrick had been discovered by the White lotus. And was secretly trained by them for years.

7,439(B.W.): Avatar Patrick comes out of hiding and drives the Serpintines out of the elemental nations and imprisons them deep underground. A national holiday is declared in Patricks honor

Meanwhile, The white Lotus work to erase all evidence of Arcterus being the Avatar...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**This story is inspired by Deus Swiftblade**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	3. Chapter 3

Hitchhikers Guide to the Elemental Nation ch.3

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

**Elemental nation TIMELINE part 3**

Of all the five evil avatar...None is more hotly debated and contested than the tale of Exodia "The Forbidden One".

7,000(B.W.): A simple metalworker named Romulus has become famous for his grand works. One night after completing a particular beautiful masterpiece to a local lord. He celebrated and made merry.

Drunk with meat and mead he boasted he was a better craftsman than Hephaestus himself! Naturally Hephaestus heard this...and was not amused.

**Spirit Pantheons of the ancient worlds**

**Norse Pantheon: **They held dominion over the earth nation. They were a violent bunch of spirits who constantly looked for any excuse to fight...

But really as long as humans didn't provoke them or get too close to their fights they left humanity to it's own devices. Even rewarding great human warriors who'd proven their valor and strength in combat.

**Izanami Pantheon: **They held dominion over the fire nation. They are more focused on backstabbing and killing each other to care about the affairs of human...

Although the constant blood rain and eclipses during Amaterasu's frequent tantrums were a nuisance.

**Hindu Pantheon: **They held dominion over the air nation Quite a benevolent group of spirits actually. Not only did they leave humanity to it's own devices but they also helped teach enlightenment!

**Greek Pantheon: **Held dominion over the water nation. Largely considered the most perverse, egotistical, depraved, and ill-tempered pantheon ever!

They deliberately made the north and south pole inhospitable most of the year because they liked watching human life being snuffed out!...Sadly though this is were our story begins.

7,000(B.W.): CONTINUED: Right, so you've heard the story a hundred times. deities gets jealous of mortals accomplishments and challenges them to a contest.

Romulus, scared to refuse Hephaestus; reluctantly accepts the challenge. Now there are two different versions of what happened next.

Story: 1. Hephaestus sees he's about to lose, and kills Romulus in a fit of jealousy. And the fearful mortal judges declare Hephaestus the winner.

Story: 2. During the contest Hephaestus sees his wife Aphrodite flirting with Ares, and kills Romulus in a fit of anger. And the fearful mortal judges declare Hephaestus the winner.

But no matter what version you believe in...Romulus is quite dead.

As you've no doubt surmised dear reader; if the story ended there I wouldn't have included it here.

For you see, Romulus had a son.

And not just any son, but the current Avatar Exodia!

And to say he wasn't happy about his father's death is a severe understament.

7,000-6,975(B.W.): Secretly Exodia gathered a group of followers and studied the essence of the universe. Eventually, among other things he learned how to synthesis godhood and administered it to himself.

6,974(B.W.): In one fell swoop Exodia and his followers wiped out the entire Greek Pantheon!

Now, if he'd stopped there that might not have been so bad...However Exodia strongly believed that Humanity had outgrown the need for spirits and needed to learn to find it's own destiny.

6,973(B.W.): One by one Exodia systematically exterminated all the pantheons.

6,972(B.W.): To say that feelings were mixed among the nations didn't begin to cover it! The Water nation was ecstatic, air was furious, fire was on the fence, and earth was more confused then anything.

6,971(B.W.): For reasons unknown Exodia and his followers left this world. Since the Avatar cycle continued it's assumed he died...but no one really knows for sure...

6,970(B.W.): The religious vacuum left by the pantheons caused a great upheaval across the elemental nations. Leading to much war and suffering.

Meanwhile: An alliance of The white Lotus/Lesser spirits/and the air nation take advantage of the chaos to erase Exodia from history...

6,930(B.W.): The new Avatar(known as Tim the enchanter), finally ends the bloodshed. The Air nation are declared the official neutral mediators of all world conflicts.

The lesser spirits fill the power vacuum in the spirit world(collectively becoming the pantheon we know today) And the White lotus/ Lesser spirits/Air nation secretly implement a conspiracy to keep the world in a constant state of "medieval stasis" to prevent a person like Exodia Ever happening again.

6,929(B.W.): A high ranking White lotus scholar Named Xai Bau had become disillusioned with the white Lotus and their goals and prevented one of Exodia's Journals from being burnt.

Inspired by Exodia's teachings and discoveries he secretly creates the Red Lotus society. Dedicated to the twin pursuits of continuing Exodia's research and ending The white lotus conspiracy...

…...

Now I know what your thinking dear reader. If Avatar Wan sealed the portals; how were these spirits capable of interfering with human affairs?

That's a good question!...Unfortunately, until we find the Necronomicon...It's a question that'll go unanswered...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**This story is inspired by Deus Swiftblade**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	4. Chapter 4

Hitchhikers Guide to the Elemental Nation ch.4

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

**Elemental nation TIMELINE part 4**

6,000(B.W.): The new Avatar; Haja. Is born into a tribe of sand-benders.

5,985(B.W.): He's finally discovered by the white lotus. There's some concern for his attitude and arrogance...But the White Lotus are confident that in time they'll be able to raise him as a "proper" Avatar...

5,970(B.W.): after many long years; Haja is released from the White lotus's care. The white lotus were reported to be happy to have succeed in turning a brutish, immature child; into a delightfully charming young man.

5,970-5,960(B.W.): Sadly it becomes quickly apparent that the only thing Haja(soon to be known simply as "the evil one") learned from the White Lotus was the power to bend the elements and how to be charismatic enough to hide his jerkass nature. No sooner had he returned to his tribe; then he'd taken it over. He then spends the next decade forcibly uniting all the sand bender tribes under his rule

5,959(B.W.): With all the territory in and around the Si Wong Desert conquered, he settles down to stabilize his rule...and plan for future conquests...

And thus the "Haja Empire" is born.

NOTE: It should be noted that under Haja's reign; that sand-bending stopped being considered a weak sub-element of earth. And became feared and refined as a destructive force of nature.

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**AN: For reference on the "New" Sand-bending. Just look up Garra from Naruto or Crocodile from One Piece **

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	5. Chapter 5

Hitchhikers Guide to the Elemental Nation ch.5

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

**Elemental nation TIMELINE part 5**

5,958(B.W.): Due the hermetic lifestyle of sandbenders(along with overall dismissive apathy toward them) ; it took awhile for word to reach the outside world...even longer for the white lotus. Desperate to prevent another catastrophe, the Air Nation(secretly accompanied by the White lotus) tries to negotiate with him.

Meanwhile: The Red Lotus decide that this situation was the perfect opportunity to truly begin their plan. They convince The white Lotus to send their all their leaders to the negotiation; Urging the necessity of preventing another Evil avatar.

During the negotiations, they manipulate a White Lotus poisoner to kill Haja. But deliberately have the poisoner exposed.

A furious Haja accuses the white lotus and air nation representatives of treachery and uses the Avatar State to slaughter them.

5,957-5,945(B.W.): These become turbulent times. The Red Lotus takes advantage of the death of the majority of the white lotus leadership; by sowing discord and in-fighting among them.

Haja; meanwhile has declared war on the Air nation. The other nations allied with air and counterattacked. Haja is quickly revealed to be a poor strategist and military leader. Only through the Avatar State is he able to keep the war a stalemate.

While Haja(and the majority of his troops) are away; the Red Lotus do play!

They begin to spark the seeds of insurrection in haja's empire.

Mostly among the horribly oppressed Non-bender's(deemed inferior and therefore only good for slave labor in Haja's eye's).

5,944(B.W.): A successful revolution is carried out under the leadership of Constantine XI. Hearing of the lose of his empire; An enraged Haja leaves the front line. Without him, his army is completely wiped out within hours.

Haja returns home in the Avatar State. Expecting it to be a quick fight; and it is...for him. For the red lotus had (among other things) prepared something special for the avatar.

Taking on the form of a giant two headed avian. To this day it's origins are unknown. It is only known by it's Red Lotus Code Name:SONGBIRD

SONGBIRD Made short work of Haja. Its very presence shorted out the Avatar State!

Thus under Constantines reign, The "Empire of Sand" was born.

SONGBIRD became the countries guardian and symbol...oblivious to the fact that SONGBIRD is still under the control of the Red Lotus...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	6. Chapter 6

Hitchhikers Guide to the Elemental Nation ch.6

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

**Elemental nation TIMELINE part 6**

5,943(B.W.): Haja's empire was "officially" dissolved. "Unofficially"(and therefore what actually happened) it merely changed hands to Constantine.

Despite an ever-growing nationalist sentiment encouraging people to start calling their land "The Sand Empire"...

Constantine instead named the "new" country Byzantine in honor of his original tribe which was wiped out under Haja's rule. This was an unpopular decision...And it wouldn't be the last...

5,942- 5,930(B.W.): It was soon apparent that Constantine was every bit as bad as Haja(the only real differences being that he was a more competent leader and was horribly Oppressive to benders rather than Non-benders). He spent the next 10 years restoring the countries military and infrastructure.

5,929(B.W.): At this point the Red lotus had made sure to fill the power vacuum in the white lotus with people either sympathetic with their goals or people too lazy, complacent, or corruptible to be of any threat to them.

It was also at this time that more responsibilities were heaped on the Avatar and Air nation. While the White lotus began to get less active...And so were completely apathetic to Constantine's actions(having kept his promise to keep the new country isolated and not strive for anymore conquests)...at which point the Red Lotus moved on to Phase 2...

5,928(B.W.): The current avatar is found dead; he and the village he's in are found ripped to pieces. This was met with shock, but an investigation is proved to be pointless as the area is too badly damaged.

5,927(B.W.): A similar incident occurs to a southern water tribe village. When investigated. It is learned that a girl only born in that town a day before the incident...was the Avatar! Needless to say, many people began to panic.

5,926-5,923(B.W.): 3 more years, 3 more incidents, 3 more avatars dead in their cradles.

5,922(B.W.): Finally, the investigation catches a break! A white Lotus operative happens to be in the water tribe village that the new avatar had recently been born in...Unfortunately, he was unable to save him...However the operative did manage to live long enough to reveal the identity of the assailant: SONGBIRD!

It is then realized that although Constantine was fine with keeping the country isolated, and being compliant with the conspiracy to maintain "The status Quo" and help erase from history the fact that Haja was the avatar...What he was not okay with letting his vengeance die. As far as he was concerned "The Avatar" was an extension of Haja and therefore must die!

And if any interfered, he threatened to send SONGBIRD to destroy there country! This put the white Lotus in a quandary. The world was in no mood to go to war again so soon; and even if they did...how on earth could they defeat a giant monster that could slay someone as mighty as the Avatar?

5,921(B.W.): The Red Lotus were ready. They'd been grooming and funding the revolution of Mehmet II into their pawn...Now he was ready to approach the White Lotus.

He told them that he'd bring down SONGBIRD...In exchange for their support of him ruling the country, and agreeing to no longer interfere with his country.

This was unprecedented! The White Lotus had influence everywhere! They couldn't afford not to! They had to refuse!...And they would have if The Red Lotus hadn't arranged for a particularly arrogant White Lotus officer to be the broker of that deal. Believing the man had a death wish, he signed the mystically binding contract...And sent him on his way...

Later that day; Mehmet(after learning the secret words of how to control SONGBIRD from the Red Lotus) gathers his fellow revolutionaries and ambush and destroy SONGBIRD in front of the whole kingdom. Both Winning the public's support and Demoralizing Constantine's supporters!

5,920-5,910(B.W.): Thus the war against the Byzantines began! It was touch and go there for awhile; but thanks to Mehmet's superior leadership skills(and the secret support of the begrudging White Lotus(And the even more secret support of the Red Lotus)) He was eventually able to put Constantine and the Byzantine Empire down for good...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


	7. Chapter 7

Hitchhikers Guide to the Elemental Nation ch.7

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

**Elemental nation TIMELINE part 7  
**

5,911(B.W.): Mehmet is officially declared king of the now officially named:

"The Empire of Sand."

The White Lotus are initially concerned that there is now a very large part of the world that they will no longer be able to supervise. But such doubts are quickly calmed by members on the Red Lotus payroll. Who assure that Mehmet can be controlled.

The Red Lotus meanwhile are celebrating! Not only have they succeeded in liberating one part of the world from the white Lotus. But that part of the world was controlled by their puppet!

But they are both mistaken...

For little did either the White or Red Lotus know that the man they had put on the throne was no puppet. But rather a man who would create a great Empire! That would go on to do greater things...And terrible things.

**Mehmet II: **Known mainly as the first emperor of "The Empire of Sand"

Mehmet started out life as a simple stable boy of a brothel that happened to be a favorite get together for both Red and White Lotus. Between hard Sake and Geisha pillow talk...Many secrets were spilled.

Overhearing the many plans to screw over his country sickened the young man. He quickly found sympathizers among the Geisha and barkeep. Together they began to use the information to their advantage.

One such instance was when they used various forms of bribery and blackmail to get Mehmet to be selected as the Red Lotus's Puppet-in-training.

Throughout the whole thing Mehmet proved resilient and cunning.

He merely obfuscated naivety and compliance.

It was all an act to gain the Red Lotus's trust.

And after all these years, it was time to begin **his** plan...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**Love me, flame me, review me**


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